October 11, 2006

I Report, You Decide

I was driving back to work after lunch, listening to the radio. Expecting music, I was suprised to hear an extended conversation between two guys about feminine napkin. Excuse me, I mean Feminine Napkin. I guess 'it' is now an 'It,' with all the trappings of a proper noun - personal pictures, friends a song and a MySpace profile.

October 06, 2006

Hooking on the Corner

I've been looking for a new jacket. Tonight, I decided to swing over to BananaRepublic.com for some ideas (not purchases, to damn expensive).

To my suprise, the Banana's homepage featured no clothes, just naked humans.

What's the price of the cute blond in the middle?


In other news, my Friday night is so slow I'm tempted to entertain myself by hooking on the corner.

September 29, 2006

Gotta Love the Drama

Saw this on another blog. This beautifully captures my contempt for the Cowboys and TO. Hopefully I can buy a poster someday soon. It'd look beautiful over my shitter.

Go 'Hawks.


September 24, 2006

A frustrating, sober Sunday

First, due to budget constraints and excessive partying the prior night, no beer is bought or consumed at today's Seahawks game. Since we're human and had to remain hydrated, we waited in line for almost 15 minutes to buy bottles of water. We were entertained by the tipsy idiots hell-bent on buying Bud Light (even though the kegs were empty) and the incompetent concession workers who decided not to serve anyone waiting behind them...

Then, after an incredible start, the 'Hawks blew a 39 point lead in the second half. Since I was completely sober, the reality of their declining performance was much harsher.

Moral of the story, they sell beer at football games to numb your emotions. Take advantage of this service. You will enjoy yourself more if you partake.

September 20, 2006

Hips Don't Lie

Well, maybe sometimes... Shakira as a Fat, Ugly Bitch.

September 15, 2006

Holy Mother of E.Coli

I wake up this morning and decide to turn on the TV while getting ready for work, something I don't normally do. At 5:28 AM, I'm drinking my coffee and checking my email when they anchors start doing a run down of the stop stories for the bottom of the hour. To my shock, the first was:
"YOUR BAG OF SPINACH COULD KILL YOU!"
Needless to say, the story got my attention since I'd had bagged spinach for dinner the night before and three or four times a week for the past several months. After sitting through several minutes of commercials, the opening credits, happy Friday wishes and check on traffic, I finally learned that yes, it was true, the half eaten bag of spinach in my vegetable crisper could kill me if I was a very young or old woman with a weak immune system or kidney disease. Even if I didn't meet those demographics, I should throw it away to avoid getting bloody diarrhea. So, I did.

To ensure my safety, I've decided to consume a large amount of alcohol to cleanse my system and kill any lingering germs.

I feel better now.

(On a side note, I think it's strange that the most people have gotten sick in Milwaukee, which was recently named the Drunkest City. Are these two events related?)

September 10, 2006

Where Were You?

At the fifth anniversary of the September 11th attacks, a common question seems to be, "where were you when it happened?" The responses are not only anecdotal, but provide insight into how the events have changed us, as individuals and a country.

Like many on the West Coast, I slept late on the morning of September 11. I remember briefly waking up a few minutes before 8 and wondering why my roommate was still watching TV, when he should have already left for work. When I got up about an hour later, I turned on the news to see the hysteria of the aftermath; both towers collapsed after being struck and the Pentagon had been hit. The next few hours were a daze of uncertainty and speculation, trying to locate family and understand exactly what happened.

A year later, the wound was still fresh. On Wednesday, September 11, 2002, I found myself in a high rise hotel in downtown Chicago and a small part of me was afraid. Looking back, that fear is clearly irrational, influenced by sensationalized government and media reports.

Today, the memories from five years ago have begun to fade. The emotions remain strong, though shock and helplessness have changed to apprehension, anger, skepticism and frustration. 1,826 days later, we are still waiting for answers.

Regardless of our personal perspective, the individuals lost September 11, 2001 will not be forgotten and the lessons we have learned will be with us forever.